Dis Ekke

My vreugdes en frustrasies

A - Z (2018)

#AtoZchallenge (2018) E is for feeling Embarrassed

My theme for this challenge is “feelings” of a sexagenarian and the influence of social media.

My tema vir hierdie uitdaging is “gevoelens” van ‘n sestig-plusser en die invloed van sosiale media.

English (Afrikaans below):

Embarrassed: feeling or showing shame, discomfort or humiliation. I still remember my teenage years and the way my embarrassment levels would rise to a discomfort peak high enough to make me dizzy.

One tiny mistake, one word used in the wrong context, one almost-stumble on my high-heeled shoes, was enough to cause agonising mental and physical pain. There was no hiding my feelings of shame and humiliation; that beetroot red blush reaching beyond my hairline gave it all away.

Thank goodness, with the passing of the years I learned to control that awful blush and after my first half-century, I just stopped caring so much about other peoples’ opinions. These days I very seldom feel like flagellating myself about my less than perfect public behaviour.

Unfortunately for my children, who are no longer teenagers but still sensitive about their self-image, their mother succeeds in embarrassing them in public on a regular basis. Not (always) on purpose, but only because I tend to speak my mind, although I must admit that I also love teasing them.

The role of social media: Social media has long been the vessel of a new kind of perceived “freedom” that people claim in order to make their most intimate feelings known. No topic is too private to publicly explore and hang out to dry, sometimes in the most vulgar and hostile manner. This role that social media plays in our lives, makes me shy away from certain topics and trends. Yes, I can still be embarrassed by what my children call TMI – too much information. Today’s emoji: 😳

Afrikaans:

Verleë: voel of vertoon skaamte, ongemak of vernedering. Ek onthou nog my tienerjare en die wyse waarop my verleentheidsvlakke sou styg tot ‘n piek van ongemak wat hoog genoeg was om my duiselig te maak.

Een klein foutjie, een woord in die verkeerde konteks gebruik, een amper-struikeling met my hoëhakskoene, was genoeg om folterende geestelike en fisiese pyn veroorsaak. Daar was geen manier om gevoelens van skaamte en vernedering weg te steek nie; daardie beetrooi blos wat tot onder my haarlyn gestrek het, het my vinnig weggegee.

Dankie tog, saam met die vervlieting van jare het ek geleer om daardie aaklige blos beheer en na afloop van my eerste halfeeu, het ek opgehou om my te steur aan ander mense se menings. Deesdae voel ek baie selde dat ek myself behoort te gysel omdat my openbare gedrag tekortskiet aan perfektheid.

Ongelukkig vir my kinders, wat nie meer tieners is nie, maar nog steeds sensitief is oor hul selfbeeld, slaag hul ma op ‘n gereelde basis daarin om hulle in verleentheid te dompel in die openbaar . Nie (altyd) doelbewus nie, maar net omdat ek geneig is om my te praat voordat ek dink, alhoewel ek moet erken dat ek ook daarvan hou om hulle te terg.

Die rol van sosiale media: Sosiale media is lankal reeds die kanaal van ‘n nuwe soort vermeende “vryheid” wat mense hulleself toeëien ten einde hul mees intieme gevoelens bekend maak. Geen onderwerp is te privaat om in die openbaar te ondersoek en aan die groot klok te hang nie, soms op die mees vulgêre en aggressiewe wyse. Hierdie rol wat sosiale media in ons lewens speel, laat my wegsku van sekere onderwerpe en tendense. Ja, ek kan nog skaam wees oor wat my kinders TMI noem – “too much information” (te veel inligting). Emoji vir vandag: 😳

Read all my entries for the #AtoZchallenge (April 2018) here.

 

Follow Dis Ekke

43 Comments

  1. 🙄my kind ly ook vreeslik. Ek geniet jou ABC.

    • HesterLeyNel

      Dankie lekkervurig. Dis hulle beurt – ek het my ook soms geskaam vir my ma. Sy het ‘n lewendindige geaardheid gehad en haar wicked wit het my soms laat voel ek moet wegkruip.

  2. Thank goodness we grow older and less sensitive. Did you ever come across this:

    When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
    With a red hat that doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me,
    And I shall spend my pension
    on brandy and summer gloves
    And satin sandals,
    and say we’ve no money for butter.
    I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired,
    And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells,
    And run my stick along the public railings,
    And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
    I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
    And pick the flowers in other people’s gardens,
    And learn to spit.
    You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat,
    And eat three pounds of sausages at a go,
    Or only bread and pickle for a week,
    And hoard pens and pencils and beer mats
    and things in boxes.
    But now we must have clothes that keep us dry,
    And pay our rent and not swear in the street,
    And set a good example for the children.
    We will have friends to dinner and read the papers.
    But maybe I ought to practise a little now?
    So people who know me
    are not too shocked and surprised,
    When suddenly I am old
    and start to wear purple!

    Jenny Joseph

    • HesterLeyNel

      No, I’ve never seen this before and I had a nice little giggle. What a wonderful attitude!

  3. My kinders het vroeg in hulle lewetjies geleer om hulle nie vir hulle ma te skaam nie, dit was soos olie op die vuur. Ai toggie

    • HesterLeyNel

      Ja en nou vertel hulle vir mekaar en hulle kinders van hulle ma’s se eksentrieke dade en almal lag heerlik. Ons is wondelike moeders as ons die kleingoed kan laat lag.

      • Net so! 😁 Ons gaan nog lank in die stories lewe, stories wat sekerlik stertjies gaan bykry oor jare. 😂

  4. Onse dogter het haar in haar tienerjare geskaam vir my geel Opel stasiewa. Totdat sy ‘n rybewys gekry het, toe was die Opeltjie goed genoeg!

    • HesterLeyNel

      My pa het so ‘n stompgat Zephyr 6 gery. Windmakerig kar met ‘n bestuurder wat jou elke oomblik vir jou lewe laat vrees het – my pa het nooit regtig die padverkeersreëls onder die knie gekry nie. Ek het myself altyd so platgetrek op die agtersitplek sodat my maatjies my nie moes sien nie. Ai tog.

  5. I love this theme. Though i havent come to your blog before. I am now going to read all the previous 4 posts.

    Tongue Twister for E

  6. My pa was n Hollander met n vreeslike aksent en ek was tog so skaam om saam met hom gesien te word!Vandag is ek sommer vies vir myself as ek daaraan dink.Goed geskryf Hester!

    • HesterLeyNel

      Ai, ‘n mens kan so simpel wees en dan voel jy jare daarna nog lus om jouself te kasty.

    • Ooo dit ken ek ook. Was altyd skaam daaroor

      • HesterLeyNel

        Hoekom? Omdat dit “anders” was? My pa het ‘n allemintige Swartlandse bry aan hom gehad. Dit was altyd vir my so mooi, alhoewel ander mense hom soms daaroor geterg het.

        • Ek was 2 toe ons hierheen gekom het en ek wou/wil alles in my hart ‘n Afrikaner wees. Miskien om aanvaar te word. Daardie Kaaskop spot het my erg geknou. My een sus het Hollandse paspoorte vir al haar kinders en ek stel net nie belang nie. Ek hou van Afrika se chaos. Dit pas my persoonlikheid

  7. Dear Hester, I like to read definitions you give to the social media. Your considerations are very precious, as you belong to a generation of still “normal” people. 🙂 I guess that your opinion about its role is more honest, sharp & true, as you do know the life before this Internet agony & now. Thanks!

    • HesterLeyNel

      Thank you, Maria. I’m not always sure what “normal” is or that life was better back then.

  8. It is nice when you reach that age when you no longer care about embarrassment! Teenage years are the hardest!
    https://iainkellywriting.com/2018/04/05/e-is-for-echternach-luxembourg/

  9. Nilanjana Bose

    Ya, agree that teenage years are the worst – definitely gets better with age and then vanishes one morning after a few decades. But makes a partial comeback when one reads TMI posts on SM, ugh, why people think it’s okay to reveal all on those platforms when they wouldn’t do so in real life is a mystery to me.

  10. My initial pick was “Embarrassed” as well. The changed it.

    With age we understand the real essence of it and know that people’s opinion are people’s opinion. well put. 🙂

  11. Ai mens het darem baie geite…

  12. My kinders het hulle geskaam vir my geselsery met vreemde mense. Ek praat baie maklik met mense…. en dis vir hulle eens te erg. Ek stem met daardie te veel inligting op sosiale media gee… partykeer raak ek verleë vir die persoon se part.

    • HesterLeyNel

      Ek moet sê, my kinders het deesdae vrede met wat hulle ma doen en hoe sy lyk. Ek dink hulle het met ander idees verby die vuurdoop gekom in die tyd toe ek chemo gekry het: ma sonder ‘n haar op haar kop op straat, ma met dreineringspype in haar hand wat shopping doen in P&P, ma wat gewig optel agv die pille wat ek 5 jaar moes drink na die chemo – hulle is maar te bly om ma in die rondte te hê. Weet nie hoekom nie, want ek maak hulle mal op allerhande ander maniere 😈

      • Verlede week aan jou en jou dogter se.skrywe rondom hierdie tydperk in jou lewe gedink. Vanaand met my skoonsus se dogter gepraat oor haar ma se skielike dood. Twee weke vanaf die dag toe hulle gehoor het sy het kanker. Sy en haar broer sukkel om dit te verwerk. Close familie gewees maar hulle kon ook maar lekker met hulle ma baklei.

        • HesterLeyNel

          En nou sit hulle met skuldgevoelens saam met die rou? Onnodig, want ‘n ma vergewe alles, onmiddellik en onvoorwaardelik.

  13. Ons het nie kinders nie, so niemand om verlee te maak nie, wat ‘n goeie ding is, want sinds ek nou aan die anderkant van 50 is, gee ek ook nie meer om wat mense van my doen en late dink nie. En my doen en late is ‘n gereelde cause of raised eyebrows hier in die suide van Frankryk.

    • HesterLeyNel

      Wel, jy ken die spreekwoord – as mense van jou skinder is jy nog belangrik 😜

  14. I would never want to be a kid again, or a teenager, or even in my 20’s. Everything embarrassed me, I worried way too much about what others thought. Ah, love being 70 – no worries about what others think!!

    Donna B McNicol, author & traveler
    Romance & Mystery…writing my life
    A-Z Flash Fiction Tales: http://dbmcnicol.blogspot.com
    A-Z of Goldendoodles: http://ourprimeyears.blogspot.com

    • HesterLeyNel

      Aging has its benefits (I’m 66, right behind you).

  15. I totally for sure completely can’t identify!

    (I really identify.)

    Great choice for E! And you’ve doubled your work posting in English and Afrikaans!

    @IsaLeeWolf
    A Bit to Read

    • HesterLeyNel

      Thank you 😊 Yes, I cannot neglect my Afrikaans readers.

  16. Having visions of you wearing high heeled shoes! 🙂

    • HesterLeyNel

      Haha, I did that for forty years – no more.

  17. Ja-nee kyk… dit is lekker om die kinders te koggel!
    Ek het ook agtergekom ek voel minder vir wat mese van my dink.
    Ek probeer net altyd ander se gevoelins in ag neem… maar, ek is ek en so sal ek bly tot ek vrek!
    Die partykeer moelik om dit in my vrou se kop in the kry… los my soos ek is… daar’s meer bollie op die planeet om oor te worry as om my te probeer verander!! 😉 🙂 😉

    • HesterLeyNel

      Dis nou wraggies die waarheid. Wie maak in elk geval al die simpel reëls oor hoe ons moet leef?

  18. One thing I love about ageing (which I dread) is my confidence in my own skin… Okay, no… not so much physical but my thoughts. I’m comfortable with who I and my mind, albeit not how I look as I age.

    • HesterLeyNel

      Yes, just wait until everybody starts calling you “Auntie” – a thing about Afrikaans speaking people that really sets my teeth on edge 😃

      • My friend, my daughter’s godmother, said she was fine with “auntie”, just not “tannie”. 😂

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Theme by Anders Norén

Back to Top
%d bloggers like this: